Thursday, November 29, 2012

It's rough...

This blog is not only to keep friends and family (and strangers) on the up and up with little Eisley. But also a place for me to keep a record of Eisley so years down the road I will have this to reflect on. With that said...I am about to get real with what I am feeling and how life with this new person in our family is.


 I love my little lady, she is amazing and such a blessing to us. But man...she is hard work! I know they say babies are hard work, but I guess I didn't listen to them and just thought of big cute bright eyes staring up at me and huge gummy grin. Also...who is this "they"...their a bunch of know-it-alls! I didn't prepare for hours of crying, being overly fatigued, my body hurting, and crazy hormones. But...that is what I got.


Maybe you other seasoned parents are chuckling right now reading this...you know how I am feeling all to well. But man, it's rough.

 It's rough when she is screaming every evening and I have tried everything to comfort her. My heart breaks, my head spins, and my frustration rises.

 Its rough when my husband works so hard to provide for the family, but doing so leaves me alone with her 10+ hours a day.

 It's rough when breastfeeding is still hard for me and its my way to provide for her, but I dread when its eating time.

It's rough when I compare myself to other moms who seem to do it all: clean house, cook dinner, look amazing, craft all the time, work on developmental play with their baby, have a great relationship with their husband, and spend time with friends, all the while with a perfect baby.

 It's rough when all my family is 10 or more hours away and are missing out on our growing girl. They are not here to stop by and help out when I need it. 

It's rough when all my free time (which isn't much these days) needs to be spent working on things for Grad school but I just want to sleep.

It's rough when I feel like I have lost "me" but feel selfish for admitting this...I guess I just did.

It's not rough when just one smile, coo, sleepy laugh, or warm cuddle will make all of those overwhelming times and feeling fade away in an instant.


*all photos by my dear friend Cassie*

5 comments:

  1. Andrea, I've had a blog for 9 years now. Well, my posts began to be a once a year thing about three years ago....but it was a wonderful way for me to document the first year as a new mom. I blogged, and blogged, and blogged about my oldest. I now look back with such pride at what I accomplished in those first crazy months. I hope that you feel encouraged that what you are going through is so normal....even for us "seasoned" moms. Social media allows us to paint pictures for the world that aren't always truthful...and sometimes it makes for others to feel less than. I have days when life is a breeze and days where I'm lucky to blink. allow yourself to be okay with the unknown, and enjoy the moments of bright eyes and gummy smiles. also, I'm sure you have an insanely wonderful support system - but if you ever need someone to chat with about fussy evenings (I've found something that works!!) or breastfeeding (I did is successfully with my first and last...the two in between were total nightmares!). I'm available via email or text....sometimes it's nice to have someone to lend a listening ear. I love reading your blog (I guess I fall under the stranger part)....hope you don't mind me sharing my two cents here and there!

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    1. Melissa, thank you so much for your kind words, they are so encouraging to me! I love all the advice and encouragement other moms can give me so I will email you soon! Thanks for sharing, even though we are more like "strangers", social media makes you feel more like a friend!

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  2. Oh Andrea, I feel for you. I cried every 2-4 hours for 6 weeks with Elliette when it came to nursing. For something that is so natural, it sure doesn't come naturally. A good latch is key. And I completely relate to living far from friends and family. It's so hard. Some days crawling up in a ball sounds more appealing. Thank you for writing this and being honest. Parenthood is THE hardest job out there, but as you know the most rewarding ever. It will get easier, hang in there. And remember, I'm always a call/text away, day or night - chances are I might be up! Love ya!

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  3. It *is* rough...I hear you. The first three months of Doro's life were so exhausting...not enough sleep, way too much crying, endless bouncing (and weary arms). It's confusing to be so in love and so frustrated all at the same time!

    I am just down the road...would love to go for a walk with the girls, or have coffee, or whatever. :)

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