It's rough...

This blog is not only to keep friends and family (and strangers) on the up and up with little Eisley. But also a place for me to keep a record of Eisley so years down the road I will have this to reflect on. With that said...I am about to get real with what I am feeling and how life with this new person in our family is.

 I love my little lady, she is amazing and such a blessing to us. But man...she is hard work! I know they say babies are hard work, but I guess I didn't listen to them and just thought of big cute bright eyes staring up at me and huge gummy grin. Also...who is this "they"...their a bunch of know-it-alls! I didn't prepare for hours of crying, being overly fatigued, my body hurting, and crazy hormones. But...that is what I got.

Maybe you other seasoned parents are chuckling right now reading this...you know how I am feeling all to well. But man, it's rough.

 It's rough when she is screaming every evening and I have tried everything to comfort her. My heart breaks, my head spins, and my frustration rises.

 Its rough when my husband works so hard to provide for the family, but doing so leaves me alone with her 10+ hours a day.

 It's rough when breastfeeding is still hard for me and its my way to provide for her, but I dread when its eating time.

It's rough when I compare myself to other moms who seem to do it all: clean house, cook dinner, look amazing, craft all the time, work on developmental play with their baby, have a great relationship with their husband, and spend time with friends, all the while with a perfect baby.

 It's rough when all my family is 10 or more hours away and are missing out on our growing girl. They are not here to stop by and help out when I need it. 

It's rough when all my free time (which isn't much these days) needs to be spent working on things for Grad school but I just want to sleep.

It's rough when I feel like I have lost "me" but feel selfish for admitting this...I guess I just did.

It's not rough when just one smile, coo, sleepy laugh, or warm cuddle will make all of those overwhelming times and feeling fade away in an instant.

 

*all photos by my dear friend Cassie*

Eiselygram

I love Instagram...Its like facebook without the pointless updates....ok there are still a lot of pointless updates, but at least I just get to look a pictures. If you have an instagram, you can follow Brian here (expect a lot of fishing pictures) and me here (expect a lot of cat pictures). Now onto some of my favorite Eisleygrams.

 

Dear Eisley....One Month.

Dear Eisley,

You have been in our lives for one month now. Sometimes it feels like you have been here for longer, honestly I love you so much that I can't image a time I didn't know love for you. Your personality is awesome and quickly changing and growing. You are pretty laid back, you like your sleep, and you love to cuddle. You definitely let us know when you want something, but you are easy to please. You LOVE eating--but you are our daughter so who would expect less. Your dad likes to make me laugh when you are breastfeeding and says you're getting a milk shake...you don't seem to mind. Speaking of things you love--you really LOVE your changing table, we make faces, kiss your round belly, sing songs, and pretend to eat your toes. This is where we get big gummy smiles from you that melt our heart.

You are so strong! Everyone that holds you comments about how strong your neck is. You look all around and you love it when dad walks you around the house and talks to you about what you are seeing. You like looking at the lights and all the crazy trinkets in the hutch. Sometimes you decide you don't like the position you're in and LUNGE to one side...always keeping us on our toes.

So far the kitties just steer clear of you-- Kizzle decided you are not to bad to be around so she is ok sitting on the couch next to you. But Brimley doesn't like you. He hates it when you cry, and he doesn't like how you smell. Don't worry, I know you guys will be great friends when your big enough to play with him.

You make us laugh all the time. When you first wake up you start grunting and moaning and you stretch out and make yourself as long as possible. P.S... planking is so last year. It is funny because we have realized that is the exact same way I wake up! You make so many faces, but your go-to face is a grumpy, furrowed brow and people always ask what's wrong-- and we just tell them thats just how you look, haha!

You hate the hiccups, sometimes even yelling at them when they come, and I understand--.they suck.  But don't worry, your body will develop more and it won't be so bad soon. You also really hate the back of your neck being touched, when it is touched you turtle your head to your shoulders. I secretly find this funny so I try to give you big kisses on your neck and watch you turtle up...I know, it's mean, right!

We have been having so much fun getting to know you and your likes and dislikes.  It hasn't all been easy, truthfully I have had some very frustrating moments, especially in the evenings when you seem to cry and I don't know how to help you. But I am reminded every day (and in the middle of the night) when I look at your sweet face and watch your sleepy smiles just how much I love you and how all of this is so worth it.

Happy one month of life!

Sunshine sleeps

Picking her name

Eisley Caprice...This girl most likely won't have other kids in her class with the same name..I hope she is ok with that.

About seven years ago Brian and I were dating, I think we both knew we would get married someday, but it still wasn't a near reality. We started talking about kids and quickly started playing the name game. Most of the names we came up with for both genders were pretty horrible (think Mowgli) , and I am glad we didn't have kids at that time to be cursed with those names. But there was one name we both still loved sever years later when we finally did become pregnant...and that was Eisley. We knew of the name Eisley from a band we have both been fans of for a long time. They chose their band name from a planet in star wars called Mos Eisley. Now when I say we are a fan of the band, I would say I am really close to being a stalker of the band...I am like a teenage fan girl...following all the members (and their parents) on Instagram, knowing way to much about their personal lives, and tracking down every scrap of recorded music that has ever hit the internet.

Her middle name is my mom's first name. We knew we wanted a family name and we loved how Caprice sounded and how it  honored my mother. We kept this part of her name a secret from (almost) everyone and announced it after she was born. When we told my mom about 2 minutes after she was born that her middle name was Caprice she burst into tears. It is one of my favorite memories from her birth. 

Here are some fun defentions/meanings:
Urban Dictionary
Eisley:
A dreamy kind of music sung so beautifully, full of imagery, loaded with fantastic melodies and bursting with love that sounds like no other.
Dictionary
Caprice:
sudden, unpredictable or whimsical change; impulse
Baby name sites
Eisley:
Cheerful, strong
Caprice:
Whimsical, Playful

My hope for Eisley Caprice is that she fulfills her name. That she is a lover of music, whimsical, strong, and cheerful! Ask me again how I feel about the unpredictable impulse part when she is a teenager--hold me.