I love my little lady, she is amazing and such a blessing to us. But man...she is hard work! I know they say babies are hard work, but I guess I didn't listen to them and just thought of big cute bright eyes staring up at me and huge gummy grin. Also...who is this "they"...their a bunch of know-it-alls! I didn't prepare for hours of crying, being overly fatigued, my body hurting, and crazy hormones. But...that is what I got.
Maybe you other seasoned parents are chuckling right now reading this...you know how I am feeling all to well. But man, it's rough.
It's rough when she is screaming every evening and I have tried everything to comfort her. My heart breaks, my head spins, and my frustration rises.
Its rough when my husband works so hard to provide for the family, but doing so leaves me alone with her 10+ hours a day.
It's rough when breastfeeding is still hard for me and its my way to provide for her, but I dread when its eating time.
It's rough when I compare myself to other moms who seem to do it all: clean house, cook dinner, look amazing, craft all the time, work on developmental play with their baby, have a great relationship with their husband, and spend time with friends, all the while with a perfect baby.
It's rough when all my family is 10 or more hours away and are missing out on our growing girl. They are not here to stop by and help out when I need it.
It's rough when all my free time (which isn't much these days) needs to be spent working on things for Grad school but I just want to sleep.
It's rough when I feel like I have lost "me" but feel selfish for admitting this...I guess I just did.
It's not rough when just one smile, coo, sleepy laugh, or warm cuddle will make all of those overwhelming times and feeling fade away in an instant.
*all photos by my dear friend Cassie*